Ok, I would like to talk.

Well alright! Talk away, sister!

Daddy? How was your day? (My day was good, how was your day? What did you play today?)

I played but I was a little sad. I wanted you to come home but you weren't home and I was sad.

(Well, surely you weren't sad all day. Did you do anything fun? Did you go anywhere?)
I went to the library! And we saw Ms. Christine! And we did something very fun. We had a gluing test! But we skipped the story time because we were late AGAIN! Because the library always starts at zero-o-clock, and it's eight-o-clock right now! thats why we missed stories. But I was ok. We got lots of stories from the library to bring home. We spent so much time at the library that the thrift store was closed. We wanted to go to the thrift store but we didn't say anything to each other and then when we wanted to go, it was closed. I wanted some new books, but it was closed.

Daddy, today I loved you but I did NOTHING with you. I don't love you when you're at work. Because you are at work and just because. (Well, Jaynie, I still love you when I'm at work.) Well - I don't want your love even when I'm at work. (You don't want my love? Wait - where do you work?) I just work at home with all my fun stuff. My fun stuff AND my boring stuff. That's my work.

(Ok, so you went to the library with Mommy. Did you go anywhere else? Did you buy anything at the store?) I got cookies because I was a good girl! Ms. Becky gave me two, and then I had another in the car and that was three! And now the cookies are all gone. (This is a bit of an exaggeration, but good to know when you hand the Twink a broken piece of a cookie she considers it a whole one. She got one cookie, total.)

I got a ride on a donkey! Bridget took a ride on the car, and then I took the car and it had no quarters in it and Bridget went on the donkey.

Bridget and me ate cookies and we played at the park. We did good sharing.

It was so good that we even did not jump in the cart! We stood up but Bridget's Mommy told her to sit down because I got a boo-boo and Mommy was worried about Bridget getting a boo-boo, too. But she had a boo-boo on her forehead.

Jonas was there and he was losing it. (Losing what?)He was losing his patience. (Oh yeah? What exactly is patience?) Patience means little things in your belly. (What are they doing in your belly?) They don't do anything, that's just where they are. They're just patience. Jonas was losing his patience, so they would go up to his side, and up to his knees, and out to his foot, and up to his head - that's where they would go. He lost them. But now they're back in his belly.

And that's how my day was. Now I'm going to tell a story of how you play with me so much that Jonas wants to play with me too...

Once I was running through the woods, and Jonas got tree branches and garbage all over his hands! So we wiped of his hands and we went home. And we popped the binky in his mouth and he went right to sleep and I was all alone watching tv. Princess Jaynie was walking through the woods all by herself... but with her Daddy. Her Daddy was very polite to her he said thank you and excuse me and you're welcome and please. He was so polite. He said "Jaynie? How do you slide?" and I will show you. You will love it when you go on your belly You love it love it love it! Love it love it love it! Love love loooooove it! (This deteriorated into her singing "love it!" and dancing around the room. Joe, Jonas, and I just sat back and watched. She gets a little nuts around bedtime.)

Then we slide backwards. We slide backward while closing our eyes. and we were shooing and shooing and then we were squealing like little pigs! But two little pigs not three little pigs. But then you (Jonas) came in and you (me) came in and there were four little pigs. And then Grandma came in March and there were five little pigs. Cause she was pretending to be a little pig, too.

You and me and Jonas and Mommy were looking through the woods. Mommy was holding Jonas cause he was trying to run around and Mommy keeps him safe. Mommy is the boss of Jonas and he was her little pig. Jonas was crawling, and rocking, and swinging, and yelling.

The opposite of hot is cold. The opposite of fast is big. No, actually the opposite of fast is slow. The opposite of big is fat. The opposite of yummy is yucky. Quiet... um... LOUD!

Um, now I will fall right to sleep. WITH NO PEE PEES!

I'm a big girl, but Mommy is the BIGGEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Look at the size of her! She has the biggest butt in the whole wide world! Her butt is HOT! I love her big butt! (I should get some kind of medal for actually transcribing this and posting it on the internet. I hope you people appreciate what I do for you.)

Once I was a princess, and Mommy and Daddy and Jonas and Grandma and Grandpa and all my friends - Riley and Ms. Sally.... We were in ARKANSAS! Last morning. When we lived in Arkansas. In the United States.

But then we went to Italy, where there are lots of castles for me to be princesses. I like this house in Italy. I like this house more than the Arkansas house. I love all my toys and the house in Italy. And I love you, Mommy, Jonas, and myself. I love Mommy the most. Because of her big, fat, butt. I love her. BUTT BUTT BUTT!

Actually, I love you Daddy. I love you Mommy. I love you Jonas. I love the whole family. But mostly? Just myself.


(Ok, now THIS is what this blog is about! Really giving you people a glimpse into the total Jaynie BlahBlahBlah experience. If only I could get her to stop talking about my butt....)